That bittersweet feeling during lecture this morning. The last lecture.

It began to dawn upon me that really I am done with school. Wasn't that what I wanted? Yes, I have been waiting for so long for this day.

And you know what? I did it. I freaking survived that three long years.

The three long years where so many things occurred. People getting hitched, having their own juniors, traveled the world, perhaps even job promotions.

And there I was stuck with enthusiastic teenagers, circa 2013 to present.

All because of this fiery passion of mine to become an even better educator. That's what I want to be so much.

And I had sacrificed, that three years of my life in the journey to become an educator who is trained in both teaching as well as in leadership. That does sound more fulfilling though I might not be taking up a superior role, but I am really grateful to have it. Who knows in the future, perhaps?

So that was what I did. Though already hitting the 20's mark, with a working experience of two years, an alumni of ITE's Early Childhood. I wanted to enroll into this course so bad about three years ago, and then that drive slowly dies down, complaining about how much I dislike my peers, that particular lecturer, all the heavy load of assignments, lesson plans, learning corners, lesson implementations, group works, and so much more.

But I tried my very best to maintain it up high. All thanks to Him the Almighty, the prayers from my parents, and of course without the push and support from my boyfriend.

Seriously though. It's all one big mess of mixed emotions right now. I deserve to pat my own back for putting myself through this, but at the same time, it means I'm no longer a student. I won't be having my carefree days anymore. I won't be able to sleep in longer during weekdays, still having the energy to run errands on the same day, chill out during the vacations, having student concessions and promotions. I have to turn-off that "student" switch in my brain and turn-on that "26 year-old woman" one.

To be honest, the three years I had wasn't as good as I expected it to be. I struggled socially. If I were to compare it to my ITE days, hell yeah that was the best school days in my life. Poly life was so much different. But I mean, I can't give my judgement since I'm practically an adult when I entered so probably my sentiments would be different if I was in my teens.

All in all, it has been one crazy roller coaster ride. Now that I have school out of the way, other real problem will start to kick me hard. Finding my ideal workplace, finances, and so much more. I know I can do this. If I manage to survive independently on my own (okay, I admit with the help of my scholarship allowance starting from year 2), I can definitely fight my way through again.

Well, that's all for now folks. Till another sentimental entry. I'm gonna push it all aside and slather on my face mask. And probably think through about my 3-years plan (I can finally make this a full-time thing on my mind again!)

xx